I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
