literally had 100 drinks last night.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
