no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
