similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
