I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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