I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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