First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize