why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
