They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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