I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
