It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize