im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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