Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This baby is an asshole
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
