It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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