I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
