Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
