Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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