i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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