and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
