What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
