i permit you to call me
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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