we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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