I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
