She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
