he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
