There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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