And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
if only i could text you this smell
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
