I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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