We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
