What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
