He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
