oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
