My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
