Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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