I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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