just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
