Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish life had little blips of pornography
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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