Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Pooping to opera.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?