I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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