I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
