Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT