I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
