Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

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(619): thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina http://tfl.nu/dtrt

Replies (29) Good night (6160) Bad night (844)
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(818): View more from California

to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people

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(818): to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people http://tfl.nu/ib6w

Replies (23) Good night (3813) Bad night (763)
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(810): View more from Michigan

That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.

(810): View more from Michigan

I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.

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(810): That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head. (810): I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again. http://tfl.nu/3d2e

Replies (17) Good night (3081) Bad night (820)
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(585): View more from New York

I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.

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(585): I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me. http://tfl.nu/00st

Replies (27) Good night (4755) Bad night (710)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"

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(814): I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?" http://tfl.nu/d4r4

Replies (120) Good night (1712) Bad night (4591)
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(714): View more from California

My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.

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(714): My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win. http://tfl.nu/b8se

Replies (15) Good night (5303) Bad night (1245)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.

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(774): just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break. http://tfl.nu/t20t

Replies (2) Good night (2119) Bad night (777)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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(615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g

Replies (5) Good night (2130) Bad night (848)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.

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(606): I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket. http://tfl.nu/x07r

Replies (5) Good night (756) Bad night (1234)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.

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(303): Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel. http://tfl.nu/tevo

Replies (5) Good night (976) Bad night (448)
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(512): View more from Texas

Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.

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(512): Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate. http://tfl.nu/mywp

Replies (5) Good night (558) Bad night (414)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob

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(781): My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob http://tfl.nu/45ds

Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (272)
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(360): View more from Washington

I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.

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(360): I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been. http://tfl.nu/46nz

Replies (3) Good night (786) Bad night (481)
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(845): View more from New York

I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.

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(845): I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/cl86

Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (285)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore

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(410): Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore http://tfl.nu/vhu2

Replies (2) Good night (252) Bad night (400)

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