look no pants
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
