Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You're like the curious george of whores
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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