he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
