My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize