Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
