How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize