when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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