Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
