I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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