I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize