You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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