we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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