Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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