I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize