How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize