We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize