just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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