Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
