You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
