I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
