My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
